चलाire वेंत तो हिंदु!!!

इत वुड बे कूल तो बे अबले तो राइट लिके थिस!

Hindu writing is pretty cool. This is a pretty cool sight.. I've already learned that Kazahkstan is an actual country, then I get to type in Hindu, and I haven't even blogged yet! Cool beans... yeah. Sooo I really have to pee right now but I want to finish this blog before I can get to bed quicker. My body & mind are angry with me at the moment... we've been killing ourselves for exams again. No. Not for exams... for procrastination.

That stupid ass cat!!!!! I actually did get up right now, and when I was walking back... UGH!!! Romeo left a bird right there in the middle of the walkway (which) makes for his 3rd one this week. It is GROSS. I couldn't even bear to go in my ROOM until Adrian helped me clean it up last week. But they hunt, though, so... I don't get that either. Live and let live, for God's sake! (no pun intended, lol) Well, I guess I'm sleeping in my chair again tonight... I don't know if it just grosses me out or upsets me or what. All I know is that the last thing I want to see right now is a damn dead bird in the walkway. It would be one thing if he left them intact at all, but.. well... I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I know how Mom feels now when she says she wishes that he would just "go with Jesus." I second that notion. It many sound funny to say this about a cat, but there's really no other way to put it - he's an ASSHOLE.

To top that off, now I'm irked b/c this story does not go with the music I have playing. Ok, yeah back to other things... See that's why I love music... I sit back and it just soothes the tension out. I don't even mind driving in traffic ever since I started making more CD's a few weeks ago.

So why did I make this account tonight... Why does anyone write? Why does anyone read? That would probably be somewhere along the lines of what I don't have the answer for. Catharsis, perhaps... it's a Freudian concept of energy and built up tension - aggression (or "death instincts"). The theory says that b/c energy cannot be created/destroyed, that when you have built up energy, you have to let it out. If you don't, then it is hypothesized to come out in other less healthy ways. Research on catharsis doesn't support that it works though. They actually found that people who blew off steam when they were mad showed higher levels of aggression. (I just took 2 social psyc exams today.) Writing, on the other hand, has been shown to even improve physical health as well as mental. This is supposedly the "most mature" way to deal with things... sublimation, or putting your energy into doing something positive. I am definately a happier person when I write.

If you think about how many things you wouldn't have realized had you not been talking to someone about it, multiply that by a bunch of numbers cause I don't talk about things. I feel so much more at ease wife when I write. I'll write something and read it a few months later, not believing that I actually feel what I was writing at that time. I have to remind myself that I AM the same person and all... We forget things pretty easily. I"ll be like, "What's wrong with me? I remember when I felt very differently about (whatever bullshit is upsetting me at the moment)" I wish Adrian was more interested, but he's been hurt a lot by the things things he doesn't understand in me. That and I think he thinks I'm going to start talking about a bunch of stuff that sounds like gibberish to him and he'll end up defenseless also. That is changing... it's really suprising me.

Sorry I'll write a better blog after some sleep. lol It took me 5 minutes to write that last sentence.